A statement which seriously attempts a thesis and is generally well written, such that the reader generally has a good idea what the writer means. It is a pseudo-thesis because it doesn鈥檛 really advance any new idea or provide a genuinely creative insight or imagining. There are four typical types of pseudo-theses:

For the example theses:
Fire and Ice
by Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I鈥檝e tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.

1. The Summary

  • It鈥檚 a summary or description of the text
  • The student is avoiding real argument or contention
  • Often arises from the student thinking that the assignment, rather than demanding an argument, is asking him to prove that he has read the text

Summary Thesis: In Robert Frost鈥檚 poem, 鈥淔ire and Ice,鈥 the narrator is debating whether desire or hate, respectively symbolized by fire and ice, is more destructive.

2. The Blueprint

  • The idea that the thesis is a 鈥渞oad map鈥 for the rest of the essay
  • We often see this in the 5-paragraph essay
  • On the surface it is more argumentative than the 鈥渟ummary鈥 thesis
  • It falls short because it is limiting; students are tempted to modify or exaggerate evidence in order to fit the blueprint thesis
  • It is also too neat and tidy; it leaves no room for surprise, or growth of ideas

Blueprint Thesis: Robert Frost explores the tension between desire and hate through metaphor, simple language, and an uneven rhyme scheme.

3. The 鈥淥key-Dokey鈥

  • Students give an 鈥渙key-dokey鈥 thesis when they are suspicious of offering an insight of their own
  • Usually it is too easily conceded. It doesn鈥檛 use good or solid evidence, or, if it does, it fails to argue why this evidence is good or solid.
  • It usually comes off as reasonable, too reasonable, just 鈥渙key-dokey鈥
  • It will put you to sleep

鈥淥key-dokey鈥 Thesis: 鈥淔ire and Ice鈥 shows that human emotion can be destructive, and that desire and hate, like fire and ice, are two strong agents of this destruction.

4. The Zany

  • Substitutes 鈥榳ild鈥 and 鈥榦utlandish鈥 for 鈥榓rgumentative鈥
  • Usually manifests as unsupportable metaphors or comparisons
  • As a result, the writer鈥檚 point is hazy
  • Also common is that it鈥檚 written in ornate language, which is used to disguise the writer鈥檚 lack of argument

Zany Thesis: In 鈥淔ire and Ice鈥 the prophetic Robert Frost predicts an anthropogenic apocalypse which is directly tied to a lack of human self cognizance with respect to the bipolar emotions of hate and desire.

1 All definitions and paraphrases come from Frank Cioffi鈥檚 The Imaginative Argument, Princeton University Press, 2005.